I absolutely love reading blogging tips posts. You know the sort: ‘how to get more blog traffic’, ‘how to take better blog photos’, ‘how to be an organised blogger’ etc. It’s almost as if I think the act of reading them will suddenly make me be able to take better blog photos or be a more organised blogger.
Unfortunately though, this certainly isn’t the case. There types of posts always inspire me to make goals about how I’m going to post more often, or write more of a certain type of post, but I can’t think of a time when I’ve actually fulfilled these goals. Therefore I thought I’d make a slightly unconventional blogging guide of my own, all about how to blog my way (ie. as disorganised as possible). So if you clicked onto this post expecting genuine blogging advice, I’m so sorry – it’s all sarcasm from here on out.
So let’s get disorganised!
- Rush all your posts the night before.
So it’s been a few days since you published a post, and you feel like you should be thinking about posting another one soon (schedule? of course there’s no schedule!). Tomorrow, in fact, would be a good day for a blog post. So, you open up your running list of ideas that you keep on your phone (a little organisational blip!), read through them and realise that none of them make any sense (oh…maybe not), and so frantically rack your brains until you come up with something that isn’t a totally ridiculous idea. Now you’re ready to frantically start writing to get the post done before your self-imposed deadline. And don’t forget to add some glaring typos that you will continually miss every time you read through it!
- Get distracted a lot.
Start writing for a bit, then realise you need to quickly Google something and then find yourself several hours later furiously retweeting on Twitter, or watching people fall over on Youtube. Try writing again, and then realise you need to put the washing on, then find yourself several hours later having watched two episodes of the Jeremy Kyle Show, an episode of The Big Bang Theory and some Ghost Adventures. And start writing again…
- Don’t take photos in advance.
So, you finally finished your blog post, and decide to be super organised and schedule it to publish the following morning (ie. in a few hours). You copy and paste it into WordPress, set the schedule time and then realise you need some kind of image. You now have two options. You can either ignore the fact that it’s the middle of the night and therefore have terrible lighting and try and take a photo which will inevitably come out too dark and fuzzy (just whack up the brightness in Photoshop and don’t worry!), or you can trawl through the ‘Photography’ file on your computer for a semi-relevant image. The choice is yours: fuzzy or irrelevant?
- Don’t bother with a schedule.
- Forget about your comments for days.
You log on, and yes! You have comments on your shiny new blog post. Hmmm…but you haven’t quite got time to deal with them now, as you’re on your way out to someplace exciting (so, you’re going to get junk food basically). You’ll have to deal with them later…several days later you suddenly remember that you haven’t replied to any of them yet, and now there’s several!
- Have more social media accounts than you can realistically manage.
Don’t spend time carefully cultivating two or three specially selected social media profiles. Oh no, a disorganised blogger does it all! Twitter, Instagram, Goodreads, Pinterest, Google+, Facebook…you need the full set. Then forget about a couple, leaving them static for months, build a following on another and then abandon it in favour of another. It’s fine, you can come back to it when you realise you hate you’re newest account. People won’t unfollow you just because your account looks like there should be tumbleweed blowing across it, honestly!
So does this extreme disorganisation sound like anyone else, or is it just me?