Bloggers: Do you get ‘comment guilt’?

02/08/2016 Blogging, Discussions 47

Bloggers: Do you get 'comment guilt'?As a blogger, I absolutely adore getting comments! There’s no better feeling than knowing that someone has connected with something you’ve written enough to take the time to respond and start a conversation with you, and I really do appreciate every single comment that I get.

That’s why sometimes I feel bad because it seems to take me so long to get round to replying! I see some bloggers who get a lot more comments than I do who seem to get to them the same day, yet it can sometimes take me several days to get to all of mine.

It takes me a long time to write meaningful replies, and I really don’t like to have to dash off a quick ‘thanks for the comment’ because I don’t have time, so I always wait until I get chance to sit down properly and work my way through them (plus I always like to comment back where possible). I always really enjoy reading all of the comments I get, but I do worry sometimes that it takes so long for me to get to them that people just think I’m being rude and ignoring them!

But then if another blogger takes a while to respond to my comment on their blog then I never seem to question that they’ve just been busy, so I’m not sure why exactly I worry so much about it. We all have busy lives, and sometimes things just get in the way of blogging, and I think we can all understand that.

For example, this week I’ve moved house yet again (and this one has WiFi! I finally have internet access after 6 months without it!), which has pretty much ground my blog to a halt. I’ve only posted one post, my tweets have been pretty thin on the ground and I’ve only just got round to answering some comments from several days ago (and I’ve definitely struggled to find time to comment on anyone else’s blog!). These things happen, and no one minds, or possibly even notices, so I’m basically asking in this rambley post if anyone else ever gets what I’m calling ‘comment guilt’. Do you ever feel like it takes you too long to reply to your own comments, or that you don’t comment as much as you’d like on other people’s blogs? It really does seem like irrational guilt, but it’s just something I’ve been thinking about this week as I’ve struggled to find the time to blog.

So do you ever get ‘comment guilt’? Or even just ‘blogging guilt’ when you can’t find the the time to blog as much as you’d like?

47 Responses to “Bloggers: Do you get ‘comment guilt’?”

  1. Sammie

    OMG yes. I’m terrible for this – and blogging guilt in general when I haven’t posted for a few days or checked out my favourite blogs. I never assume that someone is ignoring me if they take a few hours/few days to reply, so I don’t know why I put that pressure on myself. I think it’s one of the perpetual blogger problems!

    • Laura

      It definitely seems like a perpetual blogger problem! We totally understand when other bloggers don’t post for a while or don’t respond to comments the same day, but when we do it ourself we imagine everyone is thinking how rude we are, or what bad bloggers we are.

  2. Kelsey

    You definitely shouldn’t get comment guilt! You are one of the best bloggers I know for not only replying to comments but also returning the favour quite often which is incredible!
    Also, if it makes you feel better not ever service lets you know when a comment has been replied to so some people may not even know when their comments had a reply 😉

    • Laura

      Awww, thanks! I’m glad you think so. I try my best, even if it takes a while! 🙂
      That’s true! Half the time when I’ve been on a bit of a commenting spree I forget to check back whether a blogger has replied to my comment anyway, and if I’m honest I hardly ever check my blog email (bad, I know, but I have to wade through all those Twitter notifications etc.) and so don’t see alerts even if they do come through.

  3. Inge

    Yes! I know we shouldn’t feel blogging guilt or comment guilt but the pain is real. I know I’m usually pretty late when it comes to replying to comments and I feel guilty about it. But like you said, when someone else do it, I immediately assume they’ve simply been busy and it’s no big deal. We’re always so hard on ourselves!

    • Laura

      We are definitely always the hardest on ourselves! It seems like us bloggers tend to feel guilty a lot about stuff like this that doesn’t actually matter, so we should probably just cut ourselves some slack 🙂

  4. tonyalee

    YES! I think it’s complete normal too. I mean, personally, if someone forgets to reply then fine. lol I just hate losing readers for it,ya know?

    • Laura

      Yeah, I’m never even that bothered if another blogger just completely forgets, so I don’t know why I assume other people will be super offended!

  5. Melissa @ Quill Pen Writer

    I totally get both types of guilt! I always try to reply as soon as possible too, and feel a bit bad if it takes me several hours or more to work through my responsibilities so I can give a thought-out reply. You’re one of the fastest replying bloggers I follow, which is great! It’s also so lovely when you stop by my blog too. I really appreciate it. XD

    • Laura

      Well I’m really glad you don’t think I take a really long time to reply, because sometimes it feels like it! And I love stopping by your blog! I always enjoy your posts 🙂

    • Laura

      It really can be so hard to find the time, but I think all bloggers really value comments, so we should all just cut ourselves some slack and try to feel less guilty 🙂

  6. Natalie @ Flowers in my Books

    Honestly, I’m the same. Sometimes I read comments that people have written and I tell myself that I’ll get to them soon but then, I just forget. I do seem to be getting better though, but maybe that has something to do with the fact that I’m on summer break. But I would worry about it too much or feel guilty because a lot of the time when I leave comments I forget to check back to see if they’ve replied anyway so I don’t even notice if they haven’t gotten back to me.

    • Laura

      I’m the same – I always forget to check back when I have commented on other people’s posts, so I don’t know why I assume my commenters are always waiting for me to reply and are really offended if it takes me a while! 🙂

  7. Greg

    I do, for sure. I used to answer every comment and I’ve noticed I struggle with that a lot more now, just because of life stuff. Just today for example I replied to some comments from a week ago- yikes! That made me feel bad! So yeah… and I do worry sometimes that if I reply do they know because like another commenter said, not every service notifies of the reply. Ah book blogger problems… 🙂

    Great topic. I think we all struggle with it…

    • Laura

      I have definitely left comments as long as a week too without replying and it makes me feel bad too, but it really shouldn’t! As a few people have said, a lot of people don’t check back anyway, or their service doesn’t alert them, so I bet most commenters don’t notice anyway.
      From these comments it seems like we do all struggle with this!

  8. Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight

    Comment guilt is the WORST, and I have a pretty severe case of it, pretty much ALL the time. But like you said, I never judge anyone ELSE harshly on it- so why do it to myself? I tried to catch up today, but I am still over a week behind. There are days I think I will never, ever catch up. And like you, I DO like to leave a thoughtful response, which makes it all take even longer and then I am playing catch-up until the end of time ? But I think in the end, it just shows that we care, and that we understand that people took time to comment and want them to know that we appreciate it! And in turn, since they’re awesome, they know that we sometimes have to deal with life stuff, sadly. Even though for me, I’d much rather be blogging usually 😉

    • Laura

      It is so weird how we never judge anyone else for taking a while, but we are just so hard on ourselves about it! I think that’s the worst when you can see them starting to build up, but you know you aren’t going to have time to reply properly for a while and it just seems like you’ll never catch up 🙁
      I think it does show that we care though, so at least that’s a positive way of looking at it! 🙂

  9. Kaja

    Oh, absolutely. I just complained about it yesterday on Twitter. Some weeks are just too busy to keep on top of everything, so hobbies like blogging take a hit. I think we all struggle with that – and that our guilt just shows that we care about our commenters and are invested in our blogs. 🙂 Try not to worry too much about it – as long as you get to them eventually, people are going to keep coming back.

    Personally, I just quit commenting on blogs where the blogger NEVER responds, I find that to be kind of rude (and even then it takes me a while to give up). But I’d never hold a grudge if someone just took longer – I have no idea what’s going on in the blogger’s life that has him/her so busy.

    • Laura

      As unpleasant as the guilt feels, I think it does just show how much we care and how much we value the people who take the time to comment on our blogs, so that’s good really! 🙂
      As you say, it does seem really rude when a blogger never ever replies to comments as it implies they don’t value the people who take time to comment enough to take a similar amount of time to reply. I think you can tell those bloggers though pretty quickly if you check some of their older posts and see whether they have replied or not.

  10. Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

    First of all, welcome back to the world of WiFi!! I don’t know how you’ve survived this long. Secondly, my answer to your question is an absolute YES! I think it’s probably pretty normal to get comment guilt – we always hold ourselves to higher standards than we do other people. I think this is one of those frustrating nagging things about blogging that won’t ever really go away. Blogger guilt is real!

    • Laura

      Thank you! I genuinely wouldn’t have believed I’d have made it so long without WiFi if someone had told me I would have to beforehand. I’m so glad to be back to internet-land! 🙂
      And that is so true. I think in a lot of aspects of life people tend to hold themselves to higher standards than they do other people, but I have found that is definitely the case for me with my blogging. Blogger guilt is so real!

  11. Lia Levina

    I don’t think you should feel guilty about not responding faster to the comments you get. Surely we all understand that even bloggers have other stuff to do besides blogging! Take it easy 🙂

    And yes, sometimes I do get “comment guilty” and “blogging guilty”. Such trivial problems yet almost all of us have them! Strange blogging life, haha!

    • Laura

      Other bloggers definitely understand, but I still can’t help but feel guilty! Blogging is just so strange like that 🙂

  12. Simone

    For sure. I mean, I don’t get too much comments and I still kind of struggle to reply immediately. And I might not even be busy, because I reply when I’m on my computer and sometimes I don’t get to be on it throughout the day and in the evening I’m tired… it’s just difficult. My blogging guilt is much bigger because I sometimes forget what day it is and that I should put up a blog post so you’re definitely not the only one. And don’t worry, I think everybody knows that bloggers have different things to do outside blogging and they understand late respond. 🙂

    • Laura

      Yeah, I definitely think everyone understands 🙂
      I think sometimes it can just be a case of being too tired to sit at a computer, as you say. I know often when I get back from work, all I want to do is just sit with my feet up and either read or watch something rubbish on TV that doesn’t require too much thinking! I imagine a lot of bloggers feel like that, and we really should just cut ourselves some slack and stop feeling guilty 🙂

  13. Becky @ A Fool's Ingenuity

    Honestly, this is an eternal struggle for me. I constantly get comment guilt both because it can take me over a week sometimes to respond to comment son my blog but also because I am not always the best at commenting on others blogs and I want to. I see these interesting posts and I have things to say but I don’t want to dash off a comment whilst on my phone and end up missing things I want to say but if I wait until I get home I end up getting distracted with friends and life and I never get around to it.

    I have to remind myself everyone has a life outside of blogging and it’s not exactly easy to balance working a full-time job and a personal life and blogging. You’ve got to drop the ball somewhere sometimes. Everyone has their routine and everyone understands.

    • Laura

      It can sometimes take me over a week too, and although I feel so bad, I never feel annoyed at another blogger for taking that long, so it seems silly really. I wish I was better at commenting on other blogs too, so I can definitely understand that as well. I tend to go on sprees and then not comment for ages, so I just wish I could be more consistent.
      It is so hard to balance blogging with other things, and anyone who runs a blog definitely knows that and probably understands, so we should probably try and remember that sometimes 🙂

  14. Jess @ POB!

    Ah, I totally feel this discussion! In no way am I bragging, but I do get a lot of comments. I’d rather make commenting rounds rather than reply, though, because I also get to give them a comment AND check out their blog AND say my thanks for stopping by. I love getting novel comments, but… I kind of hate replying to them. I read all of them, though!

    • Laura

      Going round and commenting back sounds like a great way to deal with getting so many comments! I imagine a lot of people forget to check back for ages anyway when they comment on other people’s blogs, but really appreciate a comment on their own 🙂

  15. Kristen @ Metaphors and Moonlight

    I mean, I don’t get a TON of comments, so I’m actually pretty good at getting around to responding within a day and two. So I don’t get comment guilt for that reason lol, but I probably would if it took me longer, so I get you. But anyone who visits your blog knows that you *do* respond, so I don’t think they’ll think you’re ignoring them. And I definitely think it’s better to take longer to respond but to actually give meaningful responses and/or visit other blogs in return 🙂 So don’t worry so much!

    • Laura

      I don’t really get a ton of comments either, which is partly why I feel so frustrated sometimes that it takes me so long to reply to them. You’re totally right though that it’s better to take longer and reply properly than rush it, and as you say, people can tell from past posts that I do always respond eventually! That does make me feel better about it, so thanks! 🙂

  16. Michelle @ The Writing Hufflepuff

    Oh I definitely struggle with both commenting and blogging guilt! Especially commenting, mostly commenting on other people’s blogs. I know it’s silly because life gets in the way and I don’t have time to read everyone’s post every day, but I still feel guilty haha. So don’t worry you’re not alone – though we should probably stop worrying about this, because like you said everyone understands 🙂

    • Laura

      We really should try and worry less about it. Most of the people who comment on blogs have their own and know how hard it can be to fit it in sometimes 🙂

  17. Tiziana

    Blogger guilt is always there, I learned to live with it! I honestly never thought about comment guilt, perhaps because I don’t get many comments and so far I manage to reply within a few hours (it’s impossible to reply to everyone immediately, so I say that comment guilt shouldn’t exist 🙂 ).
    What makes me feel guilty these days is my inability to catch up with my favourite blogs ‘on time’. I end up reading and commenting on blog posts several days after they’re published. Like I’m doing right now, on your post. 😛 So I wish to be more active in following and commenting others’ blogs.

    • Laura

      You’re totally right! Comment guilt (and blogger guilt too!) shouldn’t exist, as it is pretty ridiculous really. People understand that bloggers have lives outside of their blogs! 🙂
      And I feel the same when I don’t get round to catching up on my favourite blogs for a while. I tend to go through periods where I’m pretty up to date with my blog reading and commenting, but then I’ll have a few busy days and totally lose it.

  18. Silvara

    Totally! I’ve been so busy at work this summer, that a lot of blog-things have fallen to the way side. I used to try to respond to comments within 24 hours when I first started blogging. But I’ve been so busy lately that it sometimes takes me ~two weeks~ to get back to people! I feel so bad about it, but there just aren’t enough hours in the day at the moment.

    But I keep telling myself things will slow down again once August is over. And I can make it up to everyone in the fall, winter and spring, before I’m back to scrambling for time to do All The Things. *grins*

    I don’t think it matters if you take a few days or a week (or… 2? *lol*), just as long as you respond to the comments that need an actual response. Everyone understands RL gets in the way, and all of us have that busy time where we fall behind on things.

    • Laura

      It sounds like you have been really, really busy recently, so I can understand why some blogging things would have fallen by the wayside. And you’re right, people totally understand, so we really shouldn’t worry about it so much.
      I really hope things slow down for you very soon! 🙂

  19. Michelle @ FaerieFits

    Oh, I TOTALLY know what you mean!!! I simply CAN’T get online everyday, not even by phone. It’s just not possible with my work schedule. So it’s fairly typical for comments to sit around for a few days before I respond (usually about a week, max, if I’m actively blogging). Worse, there have been times they’ve sat around for weeks/months while I just wasn’t in the mood to do much on my blog. I saw the comments. I even read the comments. I just … didn’t have a good response, you know? I’m AMAZED by the bloggers I see who get hundreds or so of comments, and all of the comments have responses right away. Totally blown away.

    • Laura

      I get that too sometimes, where I’ve seen and read comments, but I just can’t think of anything good to respond with at that time. Sometimes I just have to wait for inspiration for a bit, as well as just being stuck for time.
      I am absolutely amazed too by how quickly some bloggers who get so many more comments than I do get to theirs. They literally must be superhuman! 🙂

  20. Kourtni

    I definitely experience this, especially when it comes to commenting on other people’s blogs. My blog doesn’t get tons of comments so I usually don’t have a problem getting back to everyone within a day or two. But I do have a hard time finding the time to read through posts and comment on them and I feel bad because I know there are a few people who comment on nearly every post of mine and I feel bad because I don’t do the same for them.
    You’re definitely not alone with this!

    • Laura

      I feel the same about commenting on other people’s blogs too. I tend to have sprees where I comment on loads and loads of blogs, but then I don’t have time for again for ages and I feel so bad! Especially for the people, who like you say, comment on most of my posts. I feel like I should return the favour!
      I’m glad this isn’t just me! 🙂

  21. Cait @ Paper Fury

    *raises hand* I absolutely get comment guilt. I HAVE IT 90% OF THE TIME BASICALLY.? Which, I totally agree with you: it’s absurd that we feel this way because we ALL know all of us have busy lives and we love blogging and can only do what we can do! So it makes sense when comment replies don’t come for a while and things. Honestly, half the time I don’t even notice if someone replies to my comment a week later or whatever. What I kind of really get frustrated over is when I regularly and dedicatedly comment on a blog but they never interact with me AT ALL back. 🙁 But that’s kind of a different topic but yeah. So long as a blogger IS doing their best, then I don’t mind at all if comment-replies are late.
    So I should tell this to myself and stop fretting about it hehe.?

    • Laura

      It is totally absurd that we worry so much about this, when we all understand! We’re all bloggers, so we get that life can get in the way of replying to comments sometimes, and personally I don’t usually notice anyway either 🙂
      I totally understand your frustration though with bloggers who literally never interact with their commenters. The point of a blog post in my opinion is to start a conversation about a topic, so I really don’t get why you would essentially do the internet version of starting a conversation and then just walking away from it!

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