How To Deal With Blogger Envy

31/08/2018 Blogging, Discussions 13

How To Deal With Blogger Envy

Jealousy is an ugly emotion, but let’s face it: we’ve all felt it.

It’s a perfectly natural emotion, which has only been intensified by modern society’s addiction to the internet. We spend our lives browsing through other people’s highlight reels – their beautiful holiday snaps and gushy enagagement announcements – and it makes us feel insecure about our own lives.

And for us bloggers, who spend a lot of our time online, this emotion can be multiplied tenfold: perhaps you just read another blogger’s post that was so good you wish you could have written it, or they have a drool-worthy theme and beautiful photography. Maybe they got that product or ARC you were turned down for, and have way more followers than you, even though they haven’t been blogging as long… As much as the blogging world is a community, and generally very supportive, I think we’ve all fallen victim to the dreaded blogger envy at one point or another.

So here’s a few ways to deal with blogger envy when it strikes:

  • Look back at your best posts.

I don’t know about you, but often once I write a post and put it out into the world, I never really read it again. I’ll answer comments and promote it, but I don’t often take the time to look back on my old posts, and appreciate them.

Recently, however, I did just that, and whilst I naturally began to feel critical of myself, I also found myself feeling oddly proud. I wrote those posts, and put them out there. That in itself is a huge act of bravery, and I think sometimes we need to give ourselves the credit we deserve just for putting ourselves out there and becoming part of the blogging community.

I also think we need to appreciate our own strengths and our own voice, even if it’s different from someone else’s. For example, after reading other blogs I’ve found myself wanting to be a more poetic writer – the kind of writer whose words seem to flow off the page – but at the end of the day, that just isn’t me. Instead I’ve been trying to appreciate my own writing voice and all its’ individual quirks.

  • Read some of your comments and appreciate that someone took the time to respond and reach out to you. 

In my time blogging I’ve met some wonderful people, and I have many regular commenters, who always leave such thoughtful, interesting comments. I’ve also had people comment for the first time and say how much they enjoyed my post, and that always feels good!

Therefore, when I’m feeling down about my blog, or find myself negatively comparing it with someone else’s, I find it helpful to go back and read a few of these. I think it’s important to remember that every single comment you receive – even if it doesn’t seem like many compared to someone else – is time someone else took out of their day to interact with you, and that’s amazing!

You could even take the plunge and head over to that blog which always has you feeling envious and leave one of those kind, appreciative messages on one of their posts!

  • Use envy to improve.

If you find yourself regularly feeling jealous of someone else’s theme, or photography, or their writing style, then perhaps it is a sign that that’s an area you could improve on. If you find yourself wishing you could be much better at something, then why not use that as motivation to work hard and get better?

I love the idea of using a negative emotion like envy to do something good!

How To Deal With Blogger Envy
  • Focus on your own blog, and appreciate your own individual success.

The root of blogger envy is obviously comparing your own blog to someone else’s…so why not just stop doing that?

I know I’m maybe simplifying it here, and it isn’t that easy when part of blogging is visiting other people’s blogs and commenting etc., but the only person you can really compare yourself with is yourself. Everyone has their own idea of what constitutes success, and looking back at how far you’ve come, as opposed to where you are compared to someone else is much healthier.

Maybe someone else who’s been blogging for the same amount of time as you has double the followers, but you have more followers than you did when you began. And that’s a success as far as I’m concerned, and we should try and focus on that!

  • Remember that you don’t know everything that goes on behind-the-scenes.

I think it’s also important to remember when you’re comparing yourself to someone else, that you don’t have all the information. Maybe someone else seems to have more success then you, but they have more time to devote to blogging. And maybe there’s a practical reason why someone else got that ARC or product instead of you (eg your location).

You just don’t know everything that goes on behind-the-scenes, so you can’t properly compare.

  • Feel the envy, and then reject it.

And finally: feel the envy, accept it for what it is – a perfectly natural emotion – and then move past it. You can’t control feelings of jealousy, but you can control how you react, so by making a conscious effort to be a positive force within the blogging community, you’re not letting those feelings win out.

So many people respond to feeling jealousy by criticising the cause of their envy, and whilst it’s understandable, it’s not nice, and it’s not constructive.

So do you ever suffer from blogger envy? How do you deal with it?

13 Responses to “How To Deal With Blogger Envy”

  1. Aj @ Read All The Things!

    Helpful tips! I had a lot of blogger envy when I first started blogging, but now I’m so exhausted all the time that I don’t think I have time for it. I’m very focused on my own blog. I do wish I could take pretty photos and make nice graphics, though. I’m trying!

    • Laura

      I think focusing on your own blog is one of the best ways to avoid blogger envy. I’ve been really trying to do that more myself.
      And I always really like your blog photos and graphics! 🙂

  2. Clo @ Book Dragons

    Hmmm I get bookstagram envy a lot xD and bullet journal envy too because even though I can draw, I’m not great at doodling. Whilst I can also take photos and they may look great, I’m not sure how to about working a theme into things just yet. As for blog envy, sometimes I get it when I see bloggers who’ve been blogging less than I have reach certain milestones faster than I did. But I remind myself, that it’s ok, we may post different types of content, and it’s fine. We both grow differently <3 loved this post though!

    • Laura

      I get bookstagram envy a lot too! And definitely bullet journal envy, because I’m not very artistic, and I always see these beautiful layouts and know mine wouldn’t look anything like that. That’s why I’ve never started bullet journalling, even though I really love the idea!
      That’s so true though, about our blogs all growing differently, and I think it’s a great thing to bear in mind! 🙂

  3. Angela

    I do suffer from blogger envy, especially now that I’m on Instagram and I see people’s beautiful pictures and ARCs! I try to deal with it by changing my idea of what being a successful blogger means to me. It’s more about the interaction than the numbers. Great post!

  4. Gayathri

    Everytime I get a tinge of envy, I remind myself of the hardwork those bloggers put in and realize they deserve what they have and much more. Somehow then the envy turns into motivation. So yeah all becomes good then.

  5. Pamela

    I love how overall your post is about seeing the positive side of a negative emotion by finding the root of it. I used to feel quite bad about myself when I visited other blogs that I considered looked so much better than mine. This prompted me to learn more about HTML and CSS so I could tweak my own in the way that I liked, or find plugins and add-ins that could help me do it.

    A little envy can be useful if you use it as a motivator to improve yourself 😀 But it can be ugly if you just let it simmer there, so now I always try to move past it and approach it from a different angle and give myself some credit for what I am and my work. It’s important to not to get in our own way by thinking we’re not enough.

    • Laura

      That’s so great that you used those negative feelings to inspire you to learn about HTML and CSS and plugins and stuff (and your blog really does look great by the way!) 🙂
      That’s so true though about not getting in our own way by thinking we’re not enough. That’s such a great way of putting it! 🙂

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